arthur's thread

Me: Hey, Arthur, wouldn't it be cool if we dedicated a thread to you?

Arthur: Yea, in a bizarro world where you're handsome and your breath doesn't smell like cat food.

Me: Hey, I resent that.

Arthur: Oh well, at least I'm in your post and not in one of Geno's.

Geno: You are now!

Arthur: Aw, crap...

Arthur: Hey guys, tell Darunia who I am and let him into the joke...

Arthur: Dammit, Darunia is putting words in my mouth again. What should I do?

Undertow: I don't know. Put words in <i>his</i> mouth?

Arthur: Not a bad idea...no.a.bad.idea... *takes some large wooden blocks and spells words with them* Oh, Darunia...!

Undertow: I never said that...

Arthur: I have a present for youuuu!

Me: What have I created??!!

Arthur: ...

Me: ...

Arthur: ...what

Arthur: You know, ever so often I just like to go down to the lake and just relax and listen to wildlife.

GR: Yeah, me too.

Arthur: One time I threw up and it was all yellow and nasty.

GR: What do that have to do with your previous statement?

Arthur: Nothing at all, but sometimes my mind rambles and I'll be talking about one thing and then I'll launch my raft out onto the freeway with cars going everywhere and there's the guy with a pair of tube socks in his sock drawer and it's gotta be the Nobel peace prize winner Yassar Arafat running his country from in the deep jungle where alligators roam and to the winner of this prize goes a year supply of Hepititis B!!

GR: You're so weird.

Guillaume: Hey guys~ I'm better than Arthur!

Darunia: Whoa--this Guillaume guy rocks! Fuck Arthur; who NEEDS HIM when you've got Guillaume!

Max: And me too, Guillaume and I are collectively quite good!

Darunia: Aw--! These guys are THE COOLEST!

Arthur: Oh, look, Darunia's invented a new imaginary friend. How quaint. And here I was wondering what to do with this new, unopened container of Invisible-Friend-Away.

Undertow: Why's that container glowing? Hey, that's just a jar full of radioactive goo with the words "Invisible-Friend-Away" written in marker on the top!

Arthur: And...? How do you know this isn't what anti-invisble friend creme looks like?

Undertow: I don't know. The fact that I have 3 arms and a tail all of a sudden kind of tipped me off...

(arthur needs his own comic)

Guillaume: (Rolls his eyes)

Max: Arthur was SOOO yesterday!

Darunia: Man, could these guys be ANY COOLER!?

Guillaume: My wall saw feather cereal membrane!

Darunia: What's the mean, you silly guy!?

Max: Oh--don't mind Guillaume; he's just being spontaneously silly again!! :banana:

Arthur: Guillaume sucks because he's just a steroetypical characiture of post-modern societies view of the mentally unstable forum-goer with nothing better to do than that to sit in front of a computer and talk about games that you play on a tv and stuff like that isn't funny! It's not funny at all because there are actual people out there making this stuff up and if no one believe it then they don't have a job! And if they don't have a job then they can't feed their starving children who have no shoes and beg on the streets of the city for food and guess what? Videogames aren't just games, they're art! ART! Art which I mold, with my hands of pinkish flesh, into beauty that personifies your hidden passions and desires for fattening sweets but that you can't eat because they make you hideously overweight! That's the kind of art I make! It's the kind of beauty that BLENDS with the sky and becomes ART.

GR: What all that?

Arthur: Totally. Besides I bet that guy Guillaume is French and therefore smells of stinky cheeses.

GR: Just because he's French doesn't mean he's a bad person, Arthur!

Arthur: Look, GR, you're my friend and all but sometimes you're just way too PC.

Guillaume: I'm Canadian, I'll have you know! Ey'? What are you talking aboot?

Tammy: KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND BRING ME SOME MORE BEER! Ugh... *throws up* Gosh... I think I'm pregnant...

Geno: Word.

Arthur: Totally. Not. My. Fault.

GR: ...

Arthur: I bet it was Guillaume.

Tammy: SOMEONE BETTER COUGH UP SOME FRIGGEN' CHILD-SUPPORT SOON OR I'M TOTALLY GOING TO SUE EVERYONE HERE!!!

Geno: ...

Arthur: ...

GR: ...

OB1: ...

All: *point to Guillaume*

Guillaume: 'Ey, budday! Woot are you all pointing at me for, eh? I don't know woot you're talking aboot!

Guillaume: I wasn't me, I swear! It was Grape Ape!

Grape Ape: Grape ape!

Guillaume: Look at him! He admits it was him that did it!

Grape Ape: Grape ape!

Guillaume: *is squashed by Grape Ape* My hip!

Grape Ape: Grape Ape!

Guillaume: OW--what the fuck, you cock-sucking goddamn purple monkey! You broke my fucking hip! Fuck you!

Darunia: Whoa--cool it, Guillaume, it was an accident!

Guillaume: DON'T GIVE ME THAT ACCIDENT SHIT, DARUNIA, HE FUCKING BROKE MY HIP~I CAN'T WALK! (tries to get up; fails)

Max: It was me who impregnated Tammy--but how I can't imagine; 'cuz I did her up the poopshoot. :dunno:

...


You guys have ruined Arthur.

It was Darunia's fault!

Poor arthur.

At least I was able to save semnat.

Yeah, Semnat will always be cool. Like Bo Jackson.

...

...

...

...

Bo Jackson!! Wooo!!!

Bojacksome!

Arthur: I'm still cool, right?

Geno: No. Everybody started using you, and you kinda became stale.

Arthur: Hey, you contributed!

Geno: ...so?!

Arthur: So kiss my black ass!

Geno: You're not black.

Arthur: Don't get scientific with me, Pinnochio!

Geno: No, seriously, you're not bla--..........Pinnochio?

Arthur: Yeah... Pinnochio. Because you're... a living doll...

Geno: ...

He's got you there, Geno.

Hey---don't blame ME for Arthur's demise; you refused to share his secrets---so he had to be done away with. :banana:

Arthur: What.

Arthur: Dude, I'm still here.

GR: Don't worry, Arthur! We'll never forget you!

*Arthur's walking down a dark, winding Tendo City alley one night. It's late; and the moon is hidden behind a veil of clouds.*

Arthur: I'm a flaming homo!

Max: You took the words right outta my mouth.

Tammy: Who'll pay my child support!?

Guillaume: I told you that it was just a one-night stand, doll. I'm a solo man, a long jackrabbit---I'm like the wind, baby--fast and fleeting. I can't be cast down to one woman.

Yup, the imaginary friends all went to hell with that one post.

:evilha:

Arthur: Remember me when you look to the night sky! *rides away on a flaming chariot to Mars with the ghost of Alexander Hamilton to meet with Charlten Heston on Olympus Mons to talk about guns and stuff*

Guillaume: --and remember me whenever you blast a dookie, but it's really painful because the circumference of the feces is wider than that of your asshole...

...and I'll always be right here in all of your hearts, Tendites!


*Guillaume's pointing finger glows...he edges towards OB1, and gently taps him over the heart. OB1 begins to tear up. Guillaume shuffles up the metallic ramp, which closes behind him...and then, in a great blinding flash of light, the great extraterrestrial spaceship rises off of the wooded ground, and wooshes away into the heavens--leaving behind a rainbow.*

*All Tendites sob.*

FIVE MONTHS LATER...


OB1: What is it, Doc?
DOC: Well--you have heart cancer.
OB1(forlorn): How much time do I have?
DOC: At most a week.
OB1: How could this have happened?
DOC: Well, have you been in contact with any radiation-emanating aliens?
OB1: Well, one---but...




FIN

And as for Tammy... well, she died of alcohol poisoning.

EL FIN

*shot of the night sky interposed with a still-image of Arthur smiling at the camera making a "thumbs-up"*

*Background music plays as the story of Arthur fades to credits: Don't You Forget About Me by Simple Minds.*




~La Fin Finale.

That one episodes of Family Guy where they had that song at the end was hilarious! That's the episode where Peter disguises himself as a teenager and goes back to high school.

I knew I had seen something like that somewhere, and I was pretty sure it was from Family Guy.

...oddly enough, I was thinking of the episode of Futurama, when Fry discovers that his nephew was the first man on Mars; it was called "The Luck of the Fryish".

Oh well---both are applicable, no?

Every animated sitcom seems to share a thing or two with some other animated sitcom.

Usually animated sitcoms are about spoofing this or referencing that, so there's going to be similarities.

Arthur: ...what

I thought he was dead. He left for heaven, didn't he?

That's what I thought. How many Arthurs are there?

Arthur: Yeah, they said something about being in the wrong place. I decided to come back for a while...maybe go to a church or something.

Maybe they meant you're supposed to be in hell. :hmm: I really think thats the case here, Arthur.

Arthur: Yeah...again, thinkin' about those churches...

Ooh... uhh... erm... ehhhh... I... uh... don't think I like you guys so much any more!! :crap:

It was bound to happen! I guess I should have done it first...

*is lazy*

Arthur the PBS cartoon is good, actually...

I used to watch that show all the time. I don't anymore, though.

Thank youuuu!!!! <3 :love: :kiss:

Hush, Arthur. The adults are talking now.

I loved the books when I was a kid, but the TV show wasn't made until I was maybe in Jr. High or something... but still I've seen it a good number of times and for a children's show it's pretty good. PBS seems to have (or has had) most of the good childen's programming... Arthur, Magic School Bus, Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, Wishbone (if anyone has heard of it), 3-2-1-Contact... but yeah, I still think Arthur is decent. Once you accept that it's made for third graders.

Man that show sucked. I remember all of the Ninja Turtles and Transformers kids beating up the PBS kids. :D

3-2-1 Contact, Sesame Street, and Mr. Rogers kicked ass, however.

Speaking of educational shows that I watched a lot, I also watched Bill Nye the Science Guy and Beakmen's World. Those were two of the best shows ever made 10 years ago. Man, those shows were so awesome.

Haha, I used to watch Beakmen's world. The best art show was Secret City, btw. Mark Kissler was the man.

Haha yea; you had Beakman, the rat guy, and the girl with the weird voice---then Disney copied with Bill Nye. I never learned a goddamn thing, but they sure were entertaining.

The best art show was Secret City

"And now we're going to put this little bush down here. That'll just be our little secret...and if you tell anyone that that bush is there I will come to your house and I will cut you!"

I never learned a goddamn thing, but they sure were entertaining.

I don't know if I ever learned anything either, but I loved watching them.

Secret City was a drawing show, silly.

That's just what I thought of when you said "art show". Family Guy is such an awesome show.

I've never heard of Secret City--what's that?

An awesome art show that taught kids how to draw cool cartoon stuff.

Bill Nye was good... 3-2-1-Contact was also a science show and was earlier, though. Not sure which was better, both were pretty good...

And Arthur is good. ... okay at the time (and to a large degree at home still) what I can watch is quite limited, but still, it's decent... and I wish they were still showing Magic School Bus. (they have stupid stuff like George Shrinks and CyberChase but not Magic School Bus?) And how about Carmen Sandiego? Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego was kind of stupid, but the original Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego was really good.

The lame game show or the cartoon?

Cartoon? Not sure if I've seen it...

As for the gameshow I liked it when I was younger. Haven't seen it in a long time though so I don't know how it'd hold up.

I used to watch the gameshow a lot as well as the cartoon series. Both were fairly good.

The cartoon show was actually called Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego? But anyway...

Bill Nye and Beakman ruled. I used to like Wishbone when I was younger too.